Could you please put me in touch with Edward Snowdon? I have been chipped against my consent. I was drugged at the time this occurred, which is another indication of the deeply worrying slope into totalitarianism. I have been told this is for my “security", but we have learned that data is never secure. What if the cats get elected? Given their relentless media presence, it is a possibility. I would like to learn more about how my data will be used and if anywhere is safe for me.
Pugsy Malone, pug, location withheld
We have all been there. Freedom of movement and right to privacy may be human rights, but if they can’t even sort them out for themselves, we really only have the right to shut up. George Orwell saw this coming, although perhaps not exactly like this.
I’ll mention it to Ed next time I’m passing by his secret location in Russia. In the meantime, may I suggest eating as much as you can and going easy on the old walkies. Some of my Labrador friends have managed to bury their chips in layers of delicious fat. If you can’t hide, at least don’t run.